Welcome to the third part is about the gender role of the man and how sexual performance replaces the sense of self-esteem. Homeopathy and Sexuality is a three-part series of articles written by Antonie Peppler, the inventor of Creative Homeopathy.
Part I: The gender role of the woman – unlived lust becomes power
Part II: The gender role of the woman – compensating life concepts lead to frustration
Part III: The gender role of the man – sexual performance replaces the sense of self-esteem.
Part III: The gender role of the man
“sexual performance replaces the sense of self-esteem.”
In the first two parts, we described the gender role of the woman. Now we turn to the “Lord and Master” himself, Mr. Man. The sexual role of the man dictates to him the part of protector and supporter. Only the person who has sired a son, built a house, and planted a tree [attributed to Nietzsche] is considered a real man and has earned a respectable image in society.
In contrast to the woman, the man has to gather sexual experience in order to be admired and desired. The ability to perform sexually becomes the equivalent of his self-image. Just how the sense of self-worth is constituted in the man depends quite clearly on his relationship with his parents. The more direct and open the parents communicate with each other, the easier it is for the children to develop their individuality. Unfortunately, such open and direct communication is seldom found.
Gender roles are dictated by parents
If the parents’ relationship is restricted to the general gender roles, thwarting contact between the partners, then the children are misused as objects of emotional projection. The unhappy wife and mother, who feels herself emotionally neglected by her husband, desires a feeling of being understood. The grown man is seldom able to express his feelings, especially to women, unconditionally. The role of the protector forces him to maintain his distance and to have “a grip on things matter-of-factly.” Showing emotions is unmanly. Who then can better satisfy the woman’s emotional needs than the little son whose feelings warm her with his every smile?
The mother not only gives “her” son something to eat but also the highest acknowledgment in appreciation for his emotional openness. The son becomes, in a certain way, dependent on the revelation of the mother, for he feels the emotional neglect from which she suffers. From this time on, he unconsciously takes on the responsibility for the emotional balance of his mother. Fairly soon, there arises a passionate rivalry between the mother, a fit of jealousy between father and son. The most appropriate homeopathic remedy for this situation is Lachesis muta.
Most important homeopathic
remedies for men’s individuation
The psychological significance of Lachesis muta is:
Corresponding Imprint of Lachesis muta
Typical symptoms relating to the sexuality of the man in the remedy picture of Lachesis muta:
|Symptom of Lachesis muta||Psychological significance|
|erection without sexual desire||›› meets expectations without interest in them|
|impotence with sexual desire||›› desire for passionate intimacy that is rejected|
|no ejaculation during coitus||›› forgoes the right to be allowed to shape the relationship|
|unconsciousness on looking upwards||›› not allowed to be aware of his inner certainty|
|delusion, heart too large||›› thinks he must be there for everyone else, only not for his own needs|
|dreams of being accused of theft||›› the subconscious mind is making him aware that his lifestyle is not the one suited to him|
Giving the homeopathic remedy Lachesis muta in a high potency conveys the message that it makes little sense to repress one’s individuality in order to play a role for others, for example, the role of the understanding and self-sacrificing son.
It remains to the woman’s discretion to play one man against the other or to decide for one of the two. If the son’s unconscious emotional occupation of the mother remains, the homeopathic remedy Juglans regia will be called for.
The psychological significance of Juglans regia is:
“Emotional occupation of the parent of the opposite sex.”
Corresponding imprint of Juglans regia
Typical symptoms relating to the sexuality of the man in the remedy picture of Juglans regia:
|Symptom of Juglans regia||Psychological significance|
|frequent erection||›› is available|
|heat, head while lying down agg.||›› becomes conscious of anger when resting|
|pulsating head pain, temples||›› old sorrow makes itself known|
|eruptions, axilla||›› it is painful not to be able to realize one’s potentials|
|hard ulcers on penis||›› smoldering anger because his potential are perceived as laden with guilt|
|ailments in puberty||›› takes over responsibility for oneself only with great effort|
Giving the homeopathic remedy Juglans regia in a high potency conveys the message that one’s own security remains even when dependencies are dissolved.
What is fatal in this situation of emotional occupation is that the sexual needs of the mother are unconsciously transferred to the son. If the mother rejects sexuality, the son is imprinted with the attitude that sexuality is something negative, that his sexual desires are animalistic, and that his sexual needs only bring a woman pain and sorrow.
The separation between sexuality and emotions
This leads to a clear separation between emotional respect and sexual drive. The mother, who cannot be touched, becomes a Madonna that is placed on an altar and praised. Every woman that this man “really” loves must now be placed on the altar and praised and idealized. Any personal relationship or fulfillment of his needs is no longer possible.
On the other hand, the sexual drive as experienced negatively becomes a dirty, burdening act that cannot be expected of a “pure” woman. One’s drive can only be lived out among sluts and whores, who anyway aren’t worth anything. Sexuality becomes connected to secretiveness and contempt, but also independence. The independence has an advantage for the man in that when he is with a prostitute, he does not immediately fall into emotional chaos, thinking he must fulfill the responsibilities of providing support.
The Madonna relationship is insofar burdensome in that honor, duty and the obligation to care for the offspring become enormous responsibilities for the man that he can hardly carry. These responsibilities originally came to him through his relationship with his mother in his unconscious rivalry with his father. The homeopathic remedy for this condition is Lilium tigrinum.
Corresponding imprint of Lilium tigrinum
Typical symptoms relating to the sexuality of the man in the remedy picture of Lilium tigrinum:
|Symptom of Lilium tigrinum||Psychological significance|
|disposition to masturbation||›› the easiest solution is to pleasure myself before get into trouble with others|
|suppression of sexual desire agg.||›› should use his life energy for himself|
|violent sexual desire with involuntary orgasms||›› suppressed life energy releases itself with vehemence|
|fear of moral obliquity alternating with sexual excitement||›› feels closed in by rigid structures, would like to be allowed to enjoy life|
|coldness, hands from excitement||›› in no way allows himself to do sth. that brings him pleasure|
|fear, lest he should say sth. wrong||›› no longer wants to play the role he has taken on|
Giving the homeopathic remedy Lilium tigrinum in a high potency conveys the message that becoming independent is extremely important in order to be able to live his life with satisfaction.
If the mother has a positive attitude towards sexuality but cannot show her sexual needs and desires to her husband because of her upbringing, her subconscious sexual desires will be transferred to the son. The son unconsciously understands his mother’s demands, which can lead to contempt for his father for being a “wimp.” This father-son situation is the basis for relationships the son then has with other men.
In this case, there arise macho sexual expressions and rivalries between men. Sex is important. It becomes his focus in life and his ostensible concept of self-worth. The homeopathic remedy Staphisagria, as well as Sepia succus, are called for here.
The psychological significance of Staphisagria is:
“Has broken the inner connection to others; being isolated.”Corresponding imprint of Staphisagria
Typical symptoms relating to the sexuality of the man in the remedy picture of Staphisagria:
|Symptom of Staphisagria||Psychological significance|
|masturbation from itching||›› desires experience with others but this seems too problematical|
|sexual thoughts||›› wants to get his potential moving but denies himself all possibility of action|
|aversion to coition||›› joining together and relationships have brought too much pain, better leave it alone|
|looking backwards as if being followed||›› feels the unconscious expectations of others|
|sleeplessness from pains in calves||›› does not want to recognize that he has no clear standpoint|
|dreams of exasperation||›› desires personal freedom|
Giving the homeopathic remedy Staphisagria in a high potency conveys the message that orientation to one’s own values is necessary in order to walk one’s own path with joy.
The psychological significance of Sepia succus is:
“The desire for harmony, but it must match his own picture of it.”
Corresponding imprint of Sepia succus
Typical symptoms relating to the sexuality of the man in the remedy picture of Sepia succus:
|Symptom of Sepia succus||Psychological significance|
|erection with amorous dreams||›› imagines his desires instead of living them out|
|painful coition||›› relationship is dishonest and illusory|
|sexual thoughts||›› wants to get his potential moving but denies himself all possibility of action|
|discouraged after coition||›› relationship does not match inner picture|
|fear that joints are weak||›› believes he is not made for a real relationship|
|heat, head while urinating||›› angry over loss of control when showing his emotions|
This behavioral pattern in the son has the result that in regard to women, he comes under pressure to perform sexually. He has to be able to perform sexually to keep the respect of his mother or his women, as the case may be. The women and girlfriends he has relationships with often view this behavior differently. There arises a discrepancy between the familiar acknowledgment of his mother and apparent contempt from other women.
This causes this type of son to think that he must become even more proficient, and consequently, he has even more negative experiences until he is fighting – even begging – for any recognition whatsoever from a woman, albeit in a manner that does not suit the woman. The homeopathic remedy for a man who has invested much energy into his mental concept of sexuality but without success is Caladium seguinum.
The psychological significance of Caladium seguinum is:
“Senselessly consumes himself for the sake of an untenable concept.”
Corresponding imprint of Caladium seguinum
Typical symptoms relating to the sexuality of the man in the remedy picture of Caladium seguinum:
|Symptom of Caladium seguinum||Psychological significance|
|suppression of sexual desire amel.||›› believes in no way allowed to live his desires|
|erections wanting, even after amorous caresses||›› has no right to pleasure and joy|
|erections wanting, penis relaxed when excited||›› has no right to pleasure and joy|
|sensation as if left side of head asleep||›› does not want to show his real emotions|
|faintness, fainting, after thinking||›› awareness and knowledge are not allowed|
|starting, startled, from crackling of paper||›› must always be there for others|
Giving the homeopathic remedy Caladium seguinum in a high potency conveys the message that it is important to live listening to one’s own feelings instead of putting a lot of energy into intellectual concepts that serve others.