In this second part, we will talk about the gender role of women and how compensating life concepts lead to sexual and creative frustration. Homeopathy and Sexuality is a three-part series of articles written by Antonie Peppler, the inventor of Creative Homeopathy.
Part I: The gender role of the woman – unlived lust becomes power
Part II: The gender role of the woman – compensating life concepts lead to frustration
Part III: The gender role of the man – sexual performance replaces the sense of self-esteem.
Part II: The gender role of the woman
– compensating life concepts lead to frustration
The traditional and strictly defined gender role of the woman still has a significant influence today and ultimately destroys the pleasure a woman can find in sexuality in favor of the exertion of influence, control, and power. Ethics and morals have forbidden sex before marriage. This has led to an illusory idealization of the love relationship that cannot be realized in life. The unlived desire is lived out through idealization. We have described the homeopathic remedy Antimonium crudum as the most crucial remedy for this process of idealizing.
The separation between feelings and intellect
The woman often experienced confrontation with reality as a humiliation. She was not confronted by a godly being but rather one of a purely masculine making complete with idiosyncrasies and weaknesses. The separation between feelings and intellect was perhaps the only way of dealing with this humiliation and disappointment. Staphisagria is a representative homeopathic remedy for this condition.
Through the separation between feelings and intellect, the woman became debased into a “baby factory” and the man into a “provider.” One had to come to terms with the collapsed ideal. What could be better than to assume a dignified distance from each other? We find the homeopathic remedy for this condition in Platinum metallicum.
Despite whatever distance, the injured soul is not healed. Confrontation and conflict are blocked by the separation of feelings and intellect. Instead of a resolution, there arises the need for harmony. How this harmony is understood comes from the realm of mental constructs and has little to do with reality or the concrete facts of life. This illusion can be treated by the homeopathic remedy Sepia succus.
Treating a lack of sexual desire
The specific needs of the man and the woman are covered over by external goals that are the accepted goals of society and fashioned by its needs. When the attraction of these goals recedes, there remains only boredom, functionality, and “normality” (conforming to the norm). This condition is found in the homeopathic remedy Bromium.
Bromium is one of the essential remedies for treating a lack of sexual desire. The feminine desire is choked to death by habits and possibly by worries and problems.
The next possibility of changing the life situation often comes dramatically when the goals have been accomplished and the children are ready to go their own way. The woman becomes aware of her situation but cannot find any solution in the generation of her mother or grandmother.
When the situation is not resolved, inner emptiness, dissatisfaction, depression, and despair ensue. Today making a new start through a divorce or seeking new content for one’s life are appropriate alternatives. In the predetermined structure of the role, an escape seems impossible. This leads to the search for other alternatives. This inner conflict can express itself in various ways.
Let us look at a few typical examples of different life situations and their homeopathic remedies.
The socially learned rituals for the man and the woman express themselves in the role pattern as follows:
- For the woman, that she achieves external security and protection
- For the man, that he achieves acknowledgment, a strengthening of his self-esteem and especially power.
Alumina in sexuality
With Bromium metallicum the woman is not allowed to show the actual lack of sexual desire in a concrete manner. By demonstrating her lack of desire, she could lose her security and her right to existence in the sense of role-play in the relationship. Thus she has to pretend to have the desire even if it is not so.
With the homeopathic remedy Alumina the woman has no position. She goes along with what is asked of her and lets others do with her as they will.
Typical symptoms relating to the sexuality of the woman in the remedy Alumina:
|Symptom of Alumina||Psychological significance|
|coition, aversion to ‹ss›||›› the relationship that was started is unsatisfying|
|coition, enjoyment absent ‹ss›||›› connects without being present|
|menses, too frequent ‹ss›||›› protects herself from the demands of the man|
|ailments from sexual excesses ‹ss›||›› the need for security led her to act against her own interests|
|lack of feeling in the vagina ‹ss›||›› protects herself from awareness of feigned security|
|sterility ‹ss›||›› creative potentials are not allowed to be seen|
|violent sexual desire ‹ss›||›› longs for protection and security from others|
With these symptoms as a background, it can be seen that the woman’s great need for security destroys any possibility of a fulfilling sexual relationship. She is unsatisfied with herself and her partner but does not express herself clearly because she fears losing her security.
Often she even sacrifices her position as wife to a dominating authority figure. This could be, for example, the mother-in-law who was never really willing to let go of her son. The wife loses her position if the son does not want to perceive the unbalanced battle between the two women. Outwardly, she is still his wife, but her emotional position at her husband’s side remains already taken. The woman is unaware that she must “take” her position, standing up for herself and her needs. She often waits her whole life long in vain to be assigned to her rightful position.
Conium maculatum in Sexuality
The absolute conviction that the role that has been assumed must be played out to the bitter end is seen clearly in the homeopathic remedy Conium maculatum.
The woman has been denied her needs, including very basic ones, because her ideology appeared more critical. She depends little on her own feelings and therefore needs someone else who offers her security and protection.
Typical symptoms relating to the sexuality of the woman in the remedy Conium maculatum:
|Symptom of Conium maculatum||Psychological significance|
|jealousy with sexual excitement ‹ss›||›› afraid of not being able to keep her partner, thus losing her support|
|sexual thoughts intrude and crowd around each other ‹ss›||›› exorbitant need for security causes confusion|
|hysteria after sexual excesses ‹ss›||›› despite desperate attempts to “buy” protection and security for herself, no success|
|sadness from sexual excesses ‹ss›||›› resignation in the effort to procure protection and security|
|ailments from suppression of sexual desire ‹ss›||›› deceives herself in the belief that her protection and security are not necessary|
|ungovernable sexual desire ‹ss›||›› desperately looking for a provider|
|after coition, amel. ‹sk›||›› still sees a chance to experience togetherness|
|wanting (lack of) sexual desire ‹ss›||›› has given up hope of being supported|
|vaginismus ‹ss›||›› holds on tightly to the relationship|
|suppression of sexual desires during climacteric period ‹ss›||›› because she can no longer fulfill the task of childbirth and believes she must do without protection and security|
With these symptoms as a background, it can be seen that the woman is convinced protection and security can only be found outside of herself. Her energies are used rigidly to reach these goals. This blocks the natural flow of this person’s life energy.
The despair becomes especially noticeable in the climacteric period because it is no longer possible to fulfill the woman’s purpose as dictated by the sexual role. An unfolding of individuality is not a part of the life concept of the Conium maculatum patient and, therefore, not imaginable. For these women, climacteric means the loss of their purpose as defined by the role. If she hasn’t developed something, the waiting for death begins. The role-playing has manifested here as a “fixed idea.”
Apis mellifica — the servant remedy
The most crucial purpose in life for the woman who unconditionally fulfills the requirements of the sexual role is the performance of one’s duties. She takes care of others in the same manner as she likes to be taken care of herself. Her highest good is supporting and caring for her social group until all are happy, and she is willing to sacrifice herself entirely for this goal. This is true of the loving and supportive mother, the caring housewife and partner, and the secretary who sacrifices herself for her boss.
Typical symptoms relating to the sexuality of the woman in the remedy Apis mellifica:
|Symptom of Apis mellifica||Psychological significance|
|suppression of sexual desire agg. ‹ss›||›› deceives herself in the belief that she can do without protection and security|
|attacks of increased sexual desire ‹ss›||›› deep longing for union and for being taken care of|
|sexual mania in women ‹ss›||›› the longing for being taken care of and for belonging becomes a compulsion|
|coition painful‹ss›||›› the relationship she entered into does not suit her|
|voluptuous sensation, tingling, like coition ‹ss›||›› simulates connectedness|
|suppressed sexual desire in widows ‹ss›||›› the need for protection and security is not allowed to be noticeable anymore|
|increased sexual desire in old women, widows ‹ss›||›› the longing for protection and security was not fulfilled but is hopefully sought in old age|
With these symptoms as a background, it can be seen that the relationship this woman has entered into has brought neither pleasure nor joy. She has never learned to unfold her own individuality and believes that she can only “earn” the feeling of togetherness by performing her duties. Once her husband, whom she has dutifully cared for, has died, her path often leads her to the church. In religious service, she finds a new duty and the hope for support from the church community.
Moschus as a remedy for frustration
The woman, who has spent her whole life striving for affection, acknowledgment, and security and, in the end, finds her needs unmet, often becomes malicious in old age. The frustration over her failure to reach her goals is finally made known. In the course of fulfilling her role, she never tried to perceive her own self. She took it for granted that her service would be rewarded with thanks and devotion.
Typical symptoms relating to the sexuality of the woman in the remedy Moschus:
|Symptom of Moschus||Psychological significance|
|hypochondriasis from sexual abstinence ‹ss›||›› pretends that she does not need protection and security|
|suppression of sexual desire agg. ‹ss›||›› deceives herself in the belief that she can to do without protection and security|
|Increased sexual desire in old women ‹ss›||›› the longing for a deep connectedness and protection was not met and is hopefully sought after into old age|
Here we can see that the woman in a Moschus situation refuses to acknowledge that she needs protection and a longing for community. She is inwardly convinced that she will never fulfill her longings. She has let many opportunities pass her by, so she has not confronted herself and neglected to create clarity with herself and others.
The woman completely subjugates herself to the role and relinquishes all individuality. She does not recognize her needs and wishes, so these can never be satisfied. Only recently have conditions changed – probably due to the creation of a social state [in Germany]. External security given by the state has given room for a process of transformation and a chance for the individual’s personal freedom.
The meaning of the masculine role and its relationship pattern is the content of Part III.